Anonymous

Everyone who’s shared their stories on here are amazing individuals.  Giving voice to these horrible experiences is important so thank you for this website.  My own story I will keep short.
I was raped at a party by my best friend’s boyfriend when I was 17yo and a virgin.  I was drunk and stoned and confused about it at the time.  I realised quickly that due to rape culture there was no point going on about it so never really  talked about it until a few years later when I saw a counsellor.  I had a fantastic boyfriend at university with whom I had consentual sex and enjoyed, so that helped at lot.
My point is that I was brought up in a stable secure loving family and I still got raped.  I was a confident outgoing young woman and I still got raped.  All these experiences didn’t prevent it happening – but it did help me deal with it successfully (no police complaints – just dealing with it by myself).
I agree that NZ’s drink and drug culture has a significant part to play in our sexual assault statistics, but I have been drunk at parties before and after that time and only once been raped.  I have been drunk and had sex and regretted it in the morning and that hasn’t been rape.  Rape is rape is rape.
I’ve talked with friends about this over the years and unfortunately it has allowed them to open up to me and share their experiences of rape.  There are far too many of us from all walks of life.
I so strongly feel that this is a tipping point for NZ and more women and men will start standing up for what’s right and talking about consent and stopping rape.
Thank you for helping make this a milestone that means rape culture starts to change.
Much much love and strength to all those affected and those who stand by and those who are raising sons and daughters with love.

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