Sharon

I never thought I would be one to remain in an abusive marriage. My husband had been married before and I believed all his tales of woe about his first wife. It was about 18 months after getting married that the strange behaviour started. He believed that I had advertised for sex, but he was the one reading the personal column. He went through all my phone records and contacted everyone to ask how they knew me. Obviously I was innocent  but he kept on trying to catch me out. I was about to leave, but found out I was pregnant, the conception had not been 100% consensual. He had a serious accident while I was pregnant and I remember thinking how much easier things would be if he did not make it. So I struggled on, from one form of abuse to another, always believing that somehow I could make things better.
Two years ago I decided after another unpleasant incident that enough was enough and I called a halt to the marriage. He then did not support his children and still will not do the financial settlement so I can move on.
I have realised with the help of a supportive counsellor that the ex-husband is a narcissist and thought that behaviour acceptable. Added to this is the fact he came from a misogynistic family, where they believed there was no such thing as rape in marriage. I am lucky that my children have been supportive and know that his behaviour was wrong, to put it mildly!
I am sharing this because it is easy to get stuck and believe it is all your fault, when the reality is you are a victim. It was difficult to leave but I know I did the right thing.

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