Karen

My flatmate was on a course and she brought home some Bank Managers who were also on this course.  I hated the way one of them looked at me, I was only 19, god he must have been late 30’s.  Then I decided I’d go to bed as they were all supposed to leave and stay at a hotel the course had booked.  But no, I heard voices and the man say he felt sick so wanted to sleep on the couch.  The fear that went through my body – god it shot through me like cold wind.  I heard everyone leave and lay there terrified, hoping and hoping my instincts where wrong.  But I was right, he opened my bedroom door and just walked on in, I told him to leave so many times and after 20 minutes of my physically holding him away from me I couldn’t hold him away anymore.  He laughed as he raped me, he laughed the entire way through as I cried.  And after it was over, he demanded I call him a taxi to the hotel.  Oh but I wasn’t allowed to get dressed; no I had to stand there naked and shaking while I called for the taxi…..and the whole time he just stood there laughing with a smirk on his face.  The next morning I saw my flatmate and tried to tell her what happened, but she was angry with ME!  He had gone back to the hotel and  told everyone that I have gotten out of bed and gone to the couch and pulled him into my bedroom.  I had seduced him.  No rape had occurred.  I felt numb, I went into my room and just cried and cried.  I am now 54 years old and as I type this I have tears in my eyes from the pure and  utter frustration I still feel about what happened to me.  And yes, it was the 1970’s – so who went to the police back then.  Not me 😦

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