A lot of the stories on here focus on men as abusers, and although this is usually the way it is with rape, I would like to talk about how women also promote rape culture. Ever since I was young, my family friends were all male. I have no female cousins or siblings, even both my god parents are male! So as a child I would do what the boys did, otherwise I was stuck with my parents and that wasn’t much fun. I then attended an all girls secondary school. I did not and still don’t understand the dynamics of women in cliques. I was always told to stand up for myself and what i believe in, and i never understood why you would stay friends with someone whilst they said cruel things behind your back. I preferred the more typically male mentality. If you have an issue, you either discuss it or you drop it. no grudges. I became good friends with a group of boys from our brother school. I was subjected to bullying from these girls because of that. “slut, she must be sleeping with all of them” “they are only friends with her because she puts out” “I heard they all had a go last night”. At one point, I had girls come up to me and pretend to pat me on the back just to stick post it notes saying things like “free to a good home” “easy” “fuck me” and “kick me” asides from one male whom was my boyfriend for two years (my first boyfriend who I lost my virginity to), I did not have sexual relations with any of the guys I hung out with in high school. Were these girls jealous because they wanted attention? Who said that someones gender categorized who they were to be friends with? Where did they develop this idea from? In all the years I have known the male friends in my life, I can happily say that none of them have ever disrespected me in terms of assault, abuse, or sex. Those girls however, have affected my life 10 years on, I suffer horribly from anxiety and struggle to interact with women. I still live in total fear and I still cant get on a bus that is filled with girls in school uniforms. My stomach knots when I drive past my old school. I am 27 years old, and I am afraid of high school bullies. THIS is rape culture. It isn’t just the sexual acts, its this mentality and this cruelty that is affecting human beings in New Zealand.