My rapist was my much older brother. I was nine.  I had no words to describe what was happening to me; I later found out when I was much older that I had been made to perform oral sex on him – and other sexual acts, on numerous occasions – it was disgusting, and I was confused, scared and shameful. I feel brave in that I was able to stop the ongoing rapes when I was 11.  I lived in that family for years and didn’t tell anyone for decades. When I disclosed, my parents used emotional blackmail to stop me going to the police.  I am telling my story because one in ten pre-teen girls is subject to sexual assault, mostly through family rape – and it is life destroying for the young girl.  Rape culture starts within the family, and it is too late to teach boys about respectful relationships when they are 16; if we haven’t caught them at 12, we are too late.  My brother was a bully and misogynist from the get-go.