I was 14, and was groomed by an older guy who would buy alcohol for my friend and I and gained our trust before he offered to give me a ride home one day and violently raped me, enjoying it when I cried and hurting me when I asked him to stop. He was perfectly polite afterwards and took me home, and carried on hanging out with my friends in the months afterwards. He never even asked me to keep it secret – somehow he just knew that I would because that’s the sort of culture we’ve bred around sexual violence. I carried that secret for seven years and its only in the last few years that I’ve been able to place the blame where it belongs – with him.