Be careful what you say to your kids. My dad always used to say things like “If anyone ever touches you girls I’ll kill him”.
I took that literally.
When my Mum’s brother molested me I stayed quiet because in my mind the chain of events would go – I tell my Dad, he kills my uncle, my dad goes to jail, my mum is left with no brother, no husband and three daughters to raise.
So I didn’t tell anyone for years.
When I did finally tell I was waiting for a huge reaction, fearful that my dad would lose it and go kill my uncle.
He didn’t, but he did break off contact with that side of the family.
In some odd way I felt almost deflated, like I’d kept quiet, internalised all that pain for all those years for nothing.
So I’ve never said anything like that to my children, I’ve always said they can come to me with any problem and we would discuss the situation between us and find a good solution.