My mum being a single parent at the time would leave me with her friend on occasion. I always found her son to be a little creepy, he would always look at me for a little too long, stand a little too close, touch me when it wasn’t necessary or appropriate but when I mentioned it to his mother she shrugged it off and said it must mean he liked me. I was eight years old, he was fourteen.
One night when I was staying at my mother’s friends house I was sitting in the room I slept in whenever I stayed over, reading a comic book. He came in, shut the door and pushed me onto the bed and began to pull my clothes off. I scratched at bit and pushed and finally managed to escape but the damage was done.
I didn’t tell my mother what happened for over ten years and when I finally did our relationship changed. I don’t blame her, she never would have taken me there if she had known, but she blames herself.
I’ve also been taken advantage of by other men. One night myself and a few friends went out and got drunk, one of the guys met a classmate of his from Uni. This guy came back to the house with us and when I lay down on the sofa he began to kiss me and fondle me in spite of the fact I was nearly passing out at this point, he asked me to go back to his and I refused and asked my friend to take me outside which he did and the other guy left.
I’ve had partners refuse to take no for an answer and even perform sexual acts on me when I’m asleep. I’ve been heckled in the street, followed at night when I was walking home from work to the point I was so scared I knocked on a strangers door and begged them to be let in because a strange man had been following me for over twenty minutes. I’ve had men at clubs grope my breasts and get angry and threaten me when I push them away, been proposition for prostitution and been verbally threatened when I informed them I wasn’t a sex worker, (this was at 7am in the morning when I was in my work uniform on my way to work) the guy called me a slut and told me I should be gratefully he was willing to pay to sleep with me.
Not a single one of these incidents was my fault, I didn’t deserve these things to happen to me, no one does, but for so many women, and some men, this happens all to often.