Coerced

 I had my best guy friend and his mates around for drinks and cards one night when I was 16. It was a pretty casual but good night. When everyone went home I had to drop a few of them off. Of course, being the closest with my best guy friend, I would drop him off last. But this story isn’t about him.

The second-to-last person left in the car was one of his best friends but I wasn’t close to him. When it was his turn to be dropped off he said he had forgotten his jumper at my place. I offered to drop it off to him sometime but he insisted we go back and get it. So we went and dropped my best guy friend home and before he left the car he asked, “you going to be ok?” I said “Yep, Yep :)”.

So me and his mate drove back to mine and he found his jumper once we got there. Then he said he’s really tired and asked if he could sleep over instead. I was hesitant but was being nice and said ok. I said he would have to sleep on the couch. But he wanted to sleep in mine and persisted until I let him. I said I’m going to sleep on the couch instead. Then it got weird. He insisted I sleep in my bed too. I said no several times but he wouldn’t take it for an answer and said he won’t be able to sleep if I’m not there. Everything I did after this was me giving up the fight.

I wore my ugliest pyjamas to try and deter him from doing anything. I jumped in my own bed with some guy in it and turned my back to him. It only took about 2 minutes and he started feeling me. I said “Don’t… You have a girlfriend” and I think he said but he’s lonely right now. I just gave in and let him do whatever. I did what he asked and he had sex with me despite my ugly pyjamas.

I was weak back then and I can’t help but feel ashamed that I gave in and let him do that to me. I told my guy best friend a few days later and he stood up for me and confronted him. I will never be able to look at that guy again. It will make me sick. It only took me 3 years to tell my female best friend. I have yet to tell my current partner about that night.

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