Anonymous

My whole life became a mess when I was 15 I went out with some girls and then decided to go down the road to where some of my guy friends had a flat while there I got so drunk and wasted that I was paralytic I dont know much of what happened next but a guy in his 20s that I had meet earlier and thought was a creep sexually assaulted me really badly. I was so humiliated and ashamed I never told my mother and only did when i was in my 30s  I stopped sleeping got physically sick and anxious, my mum would ask if anything had happened. I would get quite defensive When I was 16 I started a relationship which turned into a 10 year physically and mentally abusive abusive destructive relationship during this time myself and work mates where being sexually harassed by my boss we all put in complaints after years of ignoring it the company i worked for did not handle this well and we all got an apology but he stayed it was terrible. I left my relationship when I was 26 because I meet someone else and drove to a new town and started over. My husband is amazing and I am very grateful to have him however I was and in some ways still am damaged goods and this has come with its own problems. I was infact without knowing it a vulnerable person who was easily sucked in by people who knew how to pry on the weak, in many different ways.I have had numerous amounts of therepy and have really helped myself to not be a victim anymore but its been hard and I still suffer bad anxiety and depression as I had PTSD. Sometimes I look back on my life and cant believe all this happened but it did and im who I am and do what I do for a job because of this. I also know I never went to the police because I didnt want to be dragged through the courts and have to deal with defence lawyers and im kinda glad as I know how much harder they make it all. In writing this I have also found some healing. Thank u

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