The first was when I was with my then-boyfriend at the movies. I was 15. It was a terrible movie and no one else was in the theater and he unzipped his pants and asked me go down on him. I was very reluctant to but he kept insisting and eventually I did. I was young and thought relationships meant doing everything the other person asked you to even if you didn’t. I didn’t say no, but pressuring someone into an act isn’t really consent.

A few years later, I went to a big party with some friends. I was very drunk and a guy from school I knew invited me to go for a walk. My memory is patchy, but I know that he fingered me so hard that I bled. He walked me home and I woke up the next day with no underwear and blood smeared all over my thighs. I was so ashamed I never told anyone.