Anonymous

i was 13 and hanging out with my friend, her kinda boyfriend and a few of his male friends. we had lied about where we were to our parents so we needed somewhere to stay, the guys said their friends shed would be ok so we went back there with them.  they had a couple of bottles of wine and were drinking them, one cute guy gave me some and encouraged me to keep drinking, this was my first time drinking so i got wasted pretty fast. we went back to the shed and there was 2 beds so my mate and her guy got in one and i had to get in the other one with the guy who’d given me wine.  i was quite drunk and just wanted to sleep, he however asked me if i thought he was cute, i said yes.. so he started kissing me, then he started trying to put his hands up my skirt.. i tried stopping him several time and he said come on i’ll let you choose, we can have sex or we can just give each other oral.  i didnt wanna do either but he was quite persistent saying i thought he was cute and we were in the same bed so i had to do either and if i didnt pick one he would just do one, eventually he had sex with me.

when i told my friend she told me it was normal and ok, that by getting in the bed with him and saying he was cute and kissing him back i had led him on and had to give him what he wanted. and congratulated me on losing my virginity. i felt quite disgusting but never told anyone else.
for the next 2 years i wouldnt even kiss guys because i didnt wanna lead anyone on and make that happen again.
it wasnt til years later that someone told me what he had done was actually date rape me as he had got me drunk and forced me into having sex with him and that in no way did my saying he was cute and kissing him back mean he had the right to do what he did. i had been put in a situation where i was vulnerable and had said no to the point where i couldn’t say it anymore.
it is horrible that people think that because you said the person was good looking, drank with them, wore certain clothes etc means that you are asking to be taken advantage of or raped. its not ok!

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