Anonymous

I still think about how gullible and stupid I was to have put myself in such a vulnerable position.  It was a few years ago and it happened in Christchurch where I lived.  They say rapists are not always strangers they are acquaintances or people you know…I lived in a nice community where everyone knew everyone…and a new couple moved into the area and they seemed to be friendly and then I got to know them better as there was an incident involving the police and this man.  I should have known then but blindly I got drawn in and became friends as they were also new immigrants to NZ etc and he was a family man a lawyer etc etc.  I don’t know how I ever allowed him into my house and put myself in such a stupid stupid position.  This particular day he came to my house is a blur except for a sentence he said ‘it wasn’t sex as he wasn’t facing me’… well that’s what he told me.  After the shock I saw him in the street and I confronted him and told him what I believed he did he laughed it off and told me I was mistaken…I became vigilant and paranoid about locking windows and doors and not meeting him in the street until one day I saw him do something which seemed innocent enough but it wasn’t.  I  decided to make a police complaint about him.  I had to make a initial statement to a male policeman – I felt like a inch high  and the shame makes me cringe to think about it.  The law process was long but the police were supportive even when he tried to intimidate me into withdrawing the charges.  O.M.G and giving evidence in court was horrible he had a QC to represent him and the cross examination…I couldn’t even look at the jury it was so shameful to me I thought they must have thought I was a absolute fool.  He maintained his innocence until other women came forward during the court hearing after they’d read about it in the newspaper.  He decided to plead guilty to avoid further charges being laid – 2 out of the 3 charges being upheld – he was found guilty and a jail term imposed…any anonymity for me was gone as Christchurch is a small city – everyone knows everyone.  It was a huge price to pay for justice I had to move and start all over again, counselling for years so sick of talking but I know its just something you have to do.  The ‘rule of law’ process was a gruelling experience – I think I would do it again if I had to….

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